Rantings and Ramblings

My life is full right now, although not packed. But full enough to keep me tired and always on the go. School, work, Swing Club, dancing, church, laundry, friends, family, dates, groceries...the list goes on. I don't mean for this to be a pity rant because I knowingly did and do this to myself. I enjoy a lot of it too, although I do wish I had the freedom of spontaneity. Anywho...that's a quick overview of what has been filling my time.

That's what has been filling my time, but that's not always what's been filling my heart and soul.
I've been running on a spiritually low gas tank for some time now. Part of that is that I make the excuse that I'm too busy or tired to open up God's Word at the end of the day. Clearly, this is no excuse and I'm beginning to feel the effects of making this for an excuse.

I've seen the effects most clearly in the bitterness I feel towards somebody that has and continues to be a hurtful presence in my life. This negative feeling of bitterness has in the course of a week strengthened and festered its way outwards (if you see me flip the bird at any given point, you now know why). I'm not satisfied with my actions. I want to be filled with the forgiveness and love of Christ and not the awful corrosion of bitter hurt and anger.

I want to be filled once again with the guidance of God's Holy Spirit. I want my cup to be overflowing so that I can pour into others with abundance. There are certain people that I have in mind, but also for the sake of Swing Club. I want Christ to be glorified through my relationships, but if I'm starting to run on empty, there's a good chance that I will act selfishly.

I know that my thoughts do not form a cohesive whole, but at least it's an update. And I need desperately to sleep now, so I bid you adieu.