A Part of Their World

Went to a dance club thing for the indie kids who can't dance. I've done it before, I'll probably do it again. But hopefully with new eyes.
I love those people. I judge them sometimes too. But what it comes down to is that most of the time, part of me wishes I could be just as cool, just like them. A part of their world.
I've gotten too close to that point. Being a part of their world means part of me will have to deny Christ. Being part of their world means becoming worldly. And I've gone too far in.
This is my third time going. This time, my friend Heather came along. She opened my eyes.
Before my worldly eyes had been looking past all the perversion, seeing only the "exciting" world of the indie kids. I didn't see the people who were trying to fill their lives with an exciting night at the club instead of the true fulfillment of Christ. I didn't see the people who had lost every concept of the pure, intimate image of sex between husband and wife. I didn't see the people who found pleasure from escaping their problems for a moment through intoxication instead of rejoicing always in the Lord. I just didn't see the people who were bound to hell. Until my eyes were opened.
We were given the Great Commission, and with good reason. Once upon a time, I felt that need for others to come to Christ. But somewhere along the line, I lost that. I feel bad for the people that I've met in the past 6-9 months, especially the ones that just don't know. I didn't see the need to tell them anything about Christ.
I don't want to be worldly. I don't want to be blind. I want to see the way, the truth, and the life. And I want Christ to help me point everybody else to that as well.

God's Love

I do not understand, nor do I really feel God's love. I'm no pagan, but at the same time I'm honest.
There is only one love that I've ever been able to "feel" and that's the love I've received from my mother. I know from the depths of my being that she does, and it's because this love is so known that I can say that I feel it. Sure, I have the knowledge that there are other loves out there and that others have loved me, but I've never felt the certainty of their love. And this makes me doubt it. Even the love of God.
But here's the kicker: I know that God is sure and true to His word. His word says that He is love. I may not understand or feel that now, but I know that I will in due time. Because He is the essence of love, His love will ever surpass that of which my mother has shown and is still showing me. And her's is a big love.

My Two-Cents

Over break, my mom got me a job back home packing diabetic syringes. Praise the LORD! I needed the job, so as not to go into a brief lapse of college poverty. But that's not the point. While I was there, I realized a few things.
First is this: THANK YOU GUYS for have AMBITIONS!!! Many of the guys that I worked with had very few ambitions for their lives. They couldn't see past their world of working a job that requires no real thought, working for the weekend, and then going to bars and drinking. I guess, in a sense, it's good that they know what it is to be content. But it's also so disappointing and frustrating to experience people who do not wish to challenge themselves to improve their lives. Basically my point is this: I thank you sooo much guys for striving for goals, whether those goals are spiritually, mentally, educationally, or life goals. I'm pretty sure that I can speak for all the girls when I say that we appreciate this aspect in you and that we're proud of you too.
Second is this: I want to stop swearing as much. I do not think swearing is a sin, but I realized that people who swear often just sound like "trailer trash." Sorry if that sounds harsh, but while working my job over break, I heard many a middle-age or older lady use curse words as everyday vocabulary, which only made them appear unintelligent and not classy.
That's my two-cents.