Wanting to Live the Life

In my last blog, I didn’t even know what to begin to say or if I wanted to say anything at all. Today, I am completely the opposite. I want to confess everything to you all, to be dreadfully honest, and to allow you to fully enter into my life. And I want to be able to do the same in all of your lives. You see, I’ve been reading the The Kingdom of Couches, and I see the merit in the community that Walker writes about.
First, I will start by saying that part of what I wrote in my last blog still remains a fixed opinion about my writing, in that I feel as though I can never fully communicate my thoughts well. Not that I do so in speaking or thinking either, but I feel as though writing is the worst of them all. So, you are forewarned. That also means that I will start by quoting some things that are impacting my thinking right now, as they tend to communicate things better than I.

“Dissecting a frog can be helpful in figuring out its inner workings, but it also tends to kill it,” taken from Brett’s blog in TKOC.

“Maybe the reason people have a hard time picking up the Bible is because someone else has already picked it apart,” also taken from Brett’s blog in TKOC. (both chp 5)

“I believe that much of our religious unbelief is due to a wrong conception of and a wrong feeling for the Scriptures of Truth. A silent God suddenly began to speak in a book and when the book was finished lapsed back into silence again forever. Now we read the book as a record of what God said when He was for a brief time in a speaking mood. With notions like that in our heads how can we believe? The facts are that God is not silent, has never been silent. It is the nature of God to speak. The second person of the Holy Trinity is called the Word.” A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

I still have a hard time to read the Bible like its meant to be read…as being spoken and a reality here and now. Some parts of it have become monotonous and over redundant, as I’ve heard them used too many times (for instance, John 3:16…). In the last blog, I spoke about wanting to be inspired. That’s still true. I don’t feel inspired by the Word (Read the first chapter in Lamentations, and that’s kind of how I feel about where my faith is). But I want to be…I want to hear the voice of God speaking, like He should be. In conjunction with this, I really love the idea of getting together with someone and just taking turns to read the Word aloud. To bring voice and community back to the Scriptures.
I have just read Ezekiel 18. The chapter basically talks about personal responsibility, and how we will be judged for our sin and the next guy will be responsible for his sin. This connects with the above thought, in that if I want to be in that type of community action, then I must be pro-active about it. I can’t just wait for it to fall into my lap. Does anyone else like this idea? Even in the summer…we still have telephones….?
Also, this isn’t just about that idea, but about getting down to business in real life too. Here comes the confession part. One of my favorite words lately has been, “damn.” Swearing isn’t a sin to me (some is when used against others, I know). But I also know that it is not the most edifying use of my tongue. Another thing is that I tend to become a different Cassie around different people. And the people I have been around lately have been the ones that don’t make me want to be the most responsible, edifying person. I’m not a fan of my becoming that person. But my point is, that these symptoms are my personal responsibility, and it is time for me to get down to business to clean up the mess of my personality. Don’t pick apart my words to tell me that I shouldn’t rely on my own works to fix things…that’s not what I’m try to convey here. What I’m trying to say is, it’s time for me to focus back on who God wants me to be, and to do away with the rest.

Okay, so once again, its late and I need to rest my weary soul.
(wait…cool quote… You are a soul. You have a body.)