What Do I Really Need?

It's a bit crazy that I was thinking about sharing this story with you and then the speaker today in chapel also went over the same passage that I was thinking about.

Matthew 9:2-7 Some men brought to him a paralytic, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven."
At this, some of the teachers of the law said to themselves, "This fellow is blaspheming!"
Knowing their thoughts, Jesus said, "Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts? Which is easier: to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'? But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins..." Then he said to the paralytic, "Get up, take your mat and go home." And the man got up and went home.

I have joined a small group at church and we have been going over Matthew. This passage came up a few weeks ago and when we were discussing it, a really good point was brought up. The paralytic's biggest concern was probably the fact that he couldn't walk and he heard that there was this man Jesus who heals people. So, he found a way to be brought to Jesus, hoping to walk. So, when the first thing Jesus tells him is that his sins are forgiven, I wonder if he was bummed at all? In small group, someone said something really great: Jesus was concerned about the paralytic's biggest need, which was a spiritual need of forgiveness. Then he takes care of the man's physical needs. This also gave Jesus an opportunity to show the validity of His statements...He does have the power to forgive, He is the Son of God.

After this point was brought up, the application point was brought forward: What is my biggest need right now? What sin do I need to be rid of? What grace do I need to recognize?

The reason I was thinking about this point this morning is in regard to my hard week(s). I want so desperately for things to be different right now. But then, God is still God, He still has the power...So what need or sin is there that I'm not fully aware of? Right now, I'm a bit like how I imagine the paralytic initially was. I'm bummed that I'm not seeing the results I thought I initially would, that I still can't walk. But I recognize that God is dealing with a bigger need/sin right now. It's just hard to wait for it all.

Which brings me to another point. In our hall Bible study, we are reading this fictional story about how the life of Mary, the mother of Jesus, might have been. Right now in the story, Jesus is at the age of 15 and Mary is eager and antsy to see Jesus be the ruler of the Jewish people...to set them free. Little does she know, she will have to wait another 18 YEARS! to see the work of her son. And then it doesn't even end with him on a throne, but a cross.
Like I said earlier, I want so desperately for things to be different. But I need to wait. I don't know for how long, but it might be long. But I'm antsy now and it's only been a week and a half. Like I mentioned in the last post, I would really appreciate prayer. A more specific request would be that I be patient to wait for the Lord's timing and that I'm obedient to His will. Like Mary, I'm hoping for good things and I don't know what the future holds. But there is the chance that I will have to wait for a long time to see something much harder than what I've been hoping for. And this sucks now, so I would need SO MUCH OF HIS STRENGTH if it should get harder.

Basically: What is it that I really need? I need Jesus and His grace.