Prayer Request

This is short, but I just wanted to ask for prayer...
I have not been spending much time with the Lord at all lately. Would you pray that this would change and that I would more excited about spending time in His Word in comparison to all else (including things like facebook)?
That's all. Thanks.

Conviction

Romans 12:9-21 has been a convicting piece of Scripture to me in the past months.

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary:
'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.'
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

This applies to my life in a few ways right now:

• I still have bad days. But the Lord is using this time to teach me things and to point out the sins I need to overcome. It's good to be reminded in this time to "be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
• In my sin, my reaction to this hard time is often to try and one up the other party, to hurt, and to be proud. I want to HATE what is evil and cling to what is good. I want to live right and in peace with all as far as it depends on me.
  
• Dancing is my thing. It's hard to deal with friends and other people who are learning because my knowledge and understanding of it is no longer on their level. I need to be rebuked to not be conceited. I need to be encouraged to practice hospitality with what I've been given...with all things, including whatever knowledge I may possess.
  
• In everything, whether dancing or working or being friends with people, I need to be serving the Lord. Period.
• There is an awkward guy at dancing. In my selfishness, I try to avoid him. But I need to remember to put others before myself, to not think of myself as better or cooler or whatever, and to be willing to associate with people with a "lower position."
• I've been very distracted lately. But I need to remember to be present with the people around me. When they mourn, I want to mourn with them. When they are excited, I wanted to be excited for them. I don't want to be thinking about some other conversation or the dress I want to buy when I am with friends (or anybody else for that matter).

Anywho...Romans 12:9-21 is convicting stuff. I hope that it can encourage you to seek the Lord fervently too.

Summer Goals

I like to make lists. So I am creating one about the goals I have for this summer...

* Get to Kansas City for the Rhythm is Jumpin', TC Balboa Festival, and Denver for Lindy on the Rocks. I want to start competing.
* Take lessons at Uptown Swing and some balboa lessons from Krista to prepare for the above events.
* Get my car fixed.
* Get more side cleaning/chore jobs or a second job (or both) to pay for all of the above. If you would like somebody to clean your house, do some yard work, watch your kids, etc...I would love to do it for a donation!
* To work hard at whatever I end up doing.
* Get to more social dances and keep dancing with various leads to that I can practice to be a better follow.
* Learn how to lead.
* Spend time with Katie Moe
* Go home at some point.
* To try to get to London to study abroad or find an internship for fall.
* Go to the Tropical Ballroom and country two-step sometime.
* Get in some leisurely reading and dig into the Word some more.
* Eat healthy and stay active and in shape.
* Actually get to know the people at dancing...they all have stories to tell and I would love to hear them.
* Let my skin see some sun.
* To keep learning to put others before myself and to serve and make sacrifices for them.
* If I do any of the above list, I want the Lord to get the glory. For, if I dishonor Him, then none of it is really worth it. (This means that it's okay to call me out if I'm doing something I shouldn't be.)

Here's the start of my list. I hope that I can accomplish some of it...if not most of it.

"I'm so selfish, won't you forgive me my haste?"

I keep thinking that I'm the one being hurt or given the short end of the stick...but the fact is that every time I choose to do things my way, it's the other way around. I hurt others, I hurt God. Even during those times when I don't "mean" to be hurtful, if all I'm thinking about is me...well, there's a good chance that my decisions will affect someone somehow.
I keep wanting to heal myself by placing other things in my life. It's hard to sit patiently for the Lord, to wait for His peace. But it sure is easy to fill my life with idols of things that satisfy quickly. But they do not last, and because I put them in my life selfishly, my choice to put them in my life has the chance to affect others negatively. It's not only my problem, but I need to consider my brothers and sisters in Christ too.

Philippians 2:3-4: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

I want to be able to love and obey like Christ...in all faithfulness.

This Is My Refuge

"It's been a hard month and a week here we go again.
It's breaking my heart looking for peace,looking for anything.
But I will rely, I will repeat, trusting my everything in you that's in me."
The Rocket Summer, "This is a Refuge"

I've had a good past 2 weeks with all that's been going on. Having my roommate scold me and having some direction with swing dancing has helped. But that doesn't mean that I don't still have my moments. This morning I woke up to dreams of what's been happening, and that made it harder to push past today. Needless to say, the end of my day was a bit tough.

I think it's easier to stay away from feeling sad if I can stay busy. With the summer beginning brings freedom, but it also brings about the fact that a lot of my friends are gone. Which scares me. It scares me that the people I have chosen to let in about what's going on aren't around to help me, and it scares me because it seems like I won't be as busy. But I can't stay busy forever, and dealing with the emotions is healthy too.

I was speaking with a friend about a situation that is similar to mine. We talked about healing and getting to the point of not being sad, but we also talked about being scared about not feeling that sadness anymore. The sadness and the tears makes it, in a sense, more real. And to make it through that sadness, to let it go...well, that is a scary thing.

Later, I was reading Jeremiah 17 and praying to the Lord as I read and struggling with this whole concept. I was asking Him for healing from the hurt and sadness, but then I had to stop myself and confess to Him that I would be lying if I said that to Him. Part of me doesn't want to be healed. As I was struggling to want to let the Lord heal me of the hurt, I read verse 14: "Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise."
Thank you Lord for letting me hear what I need to hear.

Life Happenings...

Dear Friends, I have some updates about life.

1) London is probably not happening now due to finances. I'm okay with this. Going would have been a great opportunity, but staying here feels like a great opportunity too. For one, I can save a little bit of money on school (my spring semester only has to be a part-time semester if I stay). For two, I have more of an opportunity to get ahead with internships and applying for grad schools.

2) I LOVE swing dancing. In fact, I think that it's the first hobby I've loved as much as I do. I'm not giving it up. When thinking about how much I love it, I have decided that I would like to take it to the next level...I want to start competing. Don't put money on that statement, but I do feel strongly about this. My first order of business is taking more lessons, if possible, during the summer. Then there is an event in August in Denver that I am planning on going to with my dance friend Sophie. I have already registered for the weekend and for the Jack and Jill contest (my first order of competing). I still need to pay for it.

*This event is called Lindy on the Rocks. For the weekend, it will cost $149 (this is a great deal!) if I can pay for it before May 31st. ~If you would like any chore done for you, meal made, dance lesson given, or any service whatsoever that I can do for you for a donation...PLEASE LET ME!~

I told you about London first because it means that I now have the opportunity to keep pursuing dancing. I'm really excited about this fact. And if it's in the Lord's will, it will happen. If not, well...I'll be bummed. But I will be okay. But I sure do hope it happens.

I Have a Choice

Bad weeks...they happen.
But so do good ones.

I came back to my room last Friday and my roommate asked me how my day was. Being me, I just told her the straight up truth. I told her that I had another bad day. That the day started off good, and I thought that I might have a good day, but then I didn't. I just keep having bad days.
But she followed up with some very wise words: "Cassie, as hard as it is, you DO have a choice."

So, I made a choice and went to the Stacheworth BBQ. I was still sad, but I made a choice to make the most of my night. And I ended up having fun. Maybe not the best night I've ever experienced, but it was still a good night.

The next night, I made a point to get out of my room and try to make the most of my Saturday night. Because of that, my friend Bethany and I stumbled across a bike rave (the bicycling community got a parade permit, rode their bikes around to various spots in Minneapolis with a DJ both and raved)! A BIKE RAVE!! We made some new friends, got offered alcohol (we of course declined), and got asked about Northwestern (a sweet way to nonchalantly share our faith/testimony!).

Sunday and Monday were good fellowship days. I love my church so much. I feel so blessed to have found Hope. Then on Monday nights, I have church small group, which I have also come to love. In this group I have found a mentor who has graciously lent me her ear. These two days of fellowship refreshed me.

As for this school week, it's just been one of those weeks where I feel like strutting around campus confidently with a smile radiating from my face. For no real reason. And I worked on my Daniel paper in the library (where I spent some time with Christine making faces and imaging what it must be like to be one of the construction workers) and finished it. It's been a good week.

Might I just add, that sometimes a dress or some cowboy boots can make a world of difference in how I face the day. Silly but true.

One good week doesn't mean I won't still have my moments or bad days. I know that. But I also know that God has blessed me and has answered some prayers about understanding. I'm still waiting and hoping for Him to tell me some more things, and I'm trying to be patient.

As for some of the prayer I asked for last week regarding eating and sleeping... With my (so far) good week, my appetite has returned. As for sleeping, I'm still not getting lots of sleep, but its better quality sleep. The Lord is good in providing a busy week where I am sleep deprived so that when I climb into bed, I can just hit the hay. Last week, I was so tired, but when I would try to sleep I couldn't, and when I did, I would wake up multiple times and have trouble falling back to sleep. Needless to say, even though I'm not getting lots of sleep now, it's still answered prayer that I'm sleeping well when I do. Sorry for the ramblings about this, but it's good to share how faithful the Lord is.