As of right now, I don't have the time to say much at all (it's past midnight and I have a 7:50 tomorrow), but I thought if I don't write something now, I never will, and I'll probably forget about it later. As the saying goes, "There's no time like the present!"
I'm reading through the Psalms right now and tonight I came across Psalm 40. First, it caught my eye because the first 3 verses are the caption of a picture that I have in my head that I want to take sometime. But as I read further, I realized that the rest of this Psalm is holding quite true to how things are right now for me. Basically, something has finally caught my attention. It's not a strong grasp of an inspired verse (for example, what Ecclesiastes 3:11 had been to me in the past year), but it's God's word spoken at a normal level to my needy heart.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Riding Bandwagons
It's been awhile since I've written last. And because of that, there is much to say, or so it seems.
Numero uno. I'm still not really inspired. I know that doesn't matter to God, but it still makes it hard to want to pursue Him like He should be.
This summer, I have gotten on the "green" bandwagon. I like to recycle, I like the idea of eating organic and natural foods, and I like to avoid the many ways to obtain cancer. I like all these things so much, that I'm pretty sure you'll hear about it in the very near future if you haven't heard about it already. But here's the kicker. In church on Sunday, the message was over I Corinthians 9 (the one about running the race). Cor (the associate pastor, giving the message) was talking about how the Romans, or whoever, when they would participate in their big gaming events would spend a long time (like 11 months) with a strict and vigorous training schedule that could not be compromised at all, or they could not participate in the games. Then he (Cor) read verse 25, "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training [what I mentioned above]. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." Cor also mentioned that the crown that the Romans won was a celery crown that was super temporary, as in it would only last for a day. He then asked us as a church, "if they do all that for a temporary prize, what should we be doing for our everlasting prize of Christ?"
This hit me... If I get as excited as I do about things like recycling (to the point of bringing it up in most conversations some how), how much more excited should I be about what Christ has done in my life? How much more should I be bringing Him up in everyday conversations with all those I come in contact with? The answer: more than I do now!
(P.S. please recycle.)
Okay, numero dos. I am going through a selfish conversation time. I say things to look impressive, to bring up things that I know about (or think I do), or to at least find a way to bring up me. And then there has been a more than average amount of complaining that messles its way in as well. But most of the time when I catch myself doing this in the midst of that conversation, I will apologize. But most of the time, the reaction to the apology is the statement, "That's okay. I like to listen." FYI, it's NOT okay. Being a good listener does not negate the fact that I am sinning. Friends, once again, I want to encourage you to be honest. It's okay to say which end is up.
I'm sure there is more. But I will save those things for another night.
Grace and Peace my friends.
Numero uno. I'm still not really inspired. I know that doesn't matter to God, but it still makes it hard to want to pursue Him like He should be.
This summer, I have gotten on the "green" bandwagon. I like to recycle, I like the idea of eating organic and natural foods, and I like to avoid the many ways to obtain cancer. I like all these things so much, that I'm pretty sure you'll hear about it in the very near future if you haven't heard about it already. But here's the kicker. In church on Sunday, the message was over I Corinthians 9 (the one about running the race). Cor (the associate pastor, giving the message) was talking about how the Romans, or whoever, when they would participate in their big gaming events would spend a long time (like 11 months) with a strict and vigorous training schedule that could not be compromised at all, or they could not participate in the games. Then he (Cor) read verse 25, "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training [what I mentioned above]. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." Cor also mentioned that the crown that the Romans won was a celery crown that was super temporary, as in it would only last for a day. He then asked us as a church, "if they do all that for a temporary prize, what should we be doing for our everlasting prize of Christ?"
This hit me... If I get as excited as I do about things like recycling (to the point of bringing it up in most conversations some how), how much more excited should I be about what Christ has done in my life? How much more should I be bringing Him up in everyday conversations with all those I come in contact with? The answer: more than I do now!
(P.S. please recycle.)
Okay, numero dos. I am going through a selfish conversation time. I say things to look impressive, to bring up things that I know about (or think I do), or to at least find a way to bring up me. And then there has been a more than average amount of complaining that messles its way in as well. But most of the time when I catch myself doing this in the midst of that conversation, I will apologize. But most of the time, the reaction to the apology is the statement, "That's okay. I like to listen." FYI, it's NOT okay. Being a good listener does not negate the fact that I am sinning. Friends, once again, I want to encourage you to be honest. It's okay to say which end is up.
I'm sure there is more. But I will save those things for another night.
Grace and Peace my friends.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I'm Dying to Know
I don't know about you...but I'm dying of curiosity. Basically I'm writing this to poke and prod you to think about and respond to my last post. Why has honesty and bluntness been put on the back-burner for passive politeness?
Monday, July 6, 2009
Blunt and Honest
Honesty is a scary, yet wonderful thing. It knocks you off your feet, it puts you in your place, it makes you cry, it makes you laugh, and it helps you trust. Or at least, honesty does all of that for me.
As noted before, I have been reading The Kingdom of Couches. The chapter on conversations has been on my mind a lot lately…to the point of me re-reading that entire chapter. One of the things that is expressed is the importance of honesty to conversation, and thus to community. Honesty is something that you could say I’m passionate about or that I’m good at. That may be why I liked that chapter so much. But, honesty has had a huge impact on me this weekend.
The big one…I found out that the guy didn’t like me back. Slight ouch. But, we bluntly hashed it out…what was going through our minds and why he didn’t like me back, why I still wanted to get to know him, why things are the way they are. And that blunt honesty felt so good. I don’t normally get that kind of honesty from people. It was refreshing. (And just so you all know, it was nice that I found out right away that he didn’t like me, unlike scenarios that happened this school year…so, that’s a blessing.)
Also, a few different people have stated lately how blunt and honest I am. Part of me doesn’t get it…why is that a big deal? I know that bluntness is a part of who I am. But, have I been more so lately? If I have, then I haven’t recognized it. And why should honesty ever be surprising? Shouldn’t honesty be the standard?
Oh, and one of the things that this guy and I discussed (or rather, he asked), was how was it that I could be that open with somebody, especially somebody I don’t know that well yet. First off, I didn’t feel like I was being that open, or not any more so than I ever am…I was just being me. But why is it that people have a hard time saying what they really think? Some things that I picked up on out of The Kingdom of Couches…
>We can know each other only to the degree that we are honest with each other.
> By not being honest I manipulate how others get to feel.
> I sense that if we told people the truth in the positive sense, telling them the truth in the negative sense would not be as big of a deal.
> It’s amazing what you find out about people when you ask them about themselves.
>Conversation is a world of ironies: I use conversation to make people like or admire me, but the person that people come to like and admire is a phantom, a persona that I’ve carefully constructed to hide behind.
> It’s just that honesty is risky; it’s rarely politically correct. It’s easier to lie or to just keep things impersonal.
All I can say is, from my point of view, I want to encourage you all to be painfully honest. Because sometimes, after the initial scare and pain of that honesty, it feels so good to know that you said all the things you were thinking…plus, it encourages others to speak the honest truth as well.
By the way, I'm thankful to know all of you…and that’s an honest truth.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Wanting to Live the Life
In my last blog, I didn’t even know what to begin to say or if I wanted to say anything at all. Today, I am completely the opposite. I want to confess everything to you all, to be dreadfully honest, and to allow you to fully enter into my life. And I want to be able to do the same in all of your lives. You see, I’ve been reading the The Kingdom of Couches, and I see the merit in the community that Walker writes about.
First, I will start by saying that part of what I wrote in my last blog still remains a fixed opinion about my writing, in that I feel as though I can never fully communicate my thoughts well. Not that I do so in speaking or thinking either, but I feel as though writing is the worst of them all. So, you are forewarned. That also means that I will start by quoting some things that are impacting my thinking right now, as they tend to communicate things better than I.
“Dissecting a frog can be helpful in figuring out its inner workings, but it also tends to kill it,” taken from Brett’s blog in TKOC.
“Maybe the reason people have a hard time picking up the Bible is because someone else has already picked it apart,” also taken from Brett’s blog in TKOC. (both chp 5)
“I believe that much of our religious unbelief is due to a wrong conception of and a wrong feeling for the Scriptures of Truth. A silent God suddenly began to speak in a book and when the book was finished lapsed back into silence again forever. Now we read the book as a record of what God said when He was for a brief time in a speaking mood. With notions like that in our heads how can we believe? The facts are that God is not silent, has never been silent. It is the nature of God to speak. The second person of the Holy Trinity is called the Word.” A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
I still have a hard time to read the Bible like its meant to be read…as being spoken and a reality here and now. Some parts of it have become monotonous and over redundant, as I’ve heard them used too many times (for instance, John 3:16…). In the last blog, I spoke about wanting to be inspired. That’s still true. I don’t feel inspired by the Word (Read the first chapter in Lamentations, and that’s kind of how I feel about where my faith is). But I want to be…I want to hear the voice of God speaking, like He should be. In conjunction with this, I really love the idea of getting together with someone and just taking turns to read the Word aloud. To bring voice and community back to the Scriptures.
I have just read Ezekiel 18. The chapter basically talks about personal responsibility, and how we will be judged for our sin and the next guy will be responsible for his sin. This connects with the above thought, in that if I want to be in that type of community action, then I must be pro-active about it. I can’t just wait for it to fall into my lap. Does anyone else like this idea? Even in the summer…we still have telephones….?
Also, this isn’t just about that idea, but about getting down to business in real life too. Here comes the confession part. One of my favorite words lately has been, “damn.” Swearing isn’t a sin to me (some is when used against others, I know). But I also know that it is not the most edifying use of my tongue. Another thing is that I tend to become a different Cassie around different people. And the people I have been around lately have been the ones that don’t make me want to be the most responsible, edifying person. I’m not a fan of my becoming that person. But my point is, that these symptoms are my personal responsibility, and it is time for me to get down to business to clean up the mess of my personality. Don’t pick apart my words to tell me that I shouldn’t rely on my own works to fix things…that’s not what I’m try to convey here. What I’m trying to say is, it’s time for me to focus back on who God wants me to be, and to do away with the rest.
Okay, so once again, its late and I need to rest my weary soul.
(wait…cool quote… You are a soul. You have a body.)
First, I will start by saying that part of what I wrote in my last blog still remains a fixed opinion about my writing, in that I feel as though I can never fully communicate my thoughts well. Not that I do so in speaking or thinking either, but I feel as though writing is the worst of them all. So, you are forewarned. That also means that I will start by quoting some things that are impacting my thinking right now, as they tend to communicate things better than I.
“Dissecting a frog can be helpful in figuring out its inner workings, but it also tends to kill it,” taken from Brett’s blog in TKOC.
“Maybe the reason people have a hard time picking up the Bible is because someone else has already picked it apart,” also taken from Brett’s blog in TKOC. (both chp 5)
“I believe that much of our religious unbelief is due to a wrong conception of and a wrong feeling for the Scriptures of Truth. A silent God suddenly began to speak in a book and when the book was finished lapsed back into silence again forever. Now we read the book as a record of what God said when He was for a brief time in a speaking mood. With notions like that in our heads how can we believe? The facts are that God is not silent, has never been silent. It is the nature of God to speak. The second person of the Holy Trinity is called the Word.” A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
I still have a hard time to read the Bible like its meant to be read…as being spoken and a reality here and now. Some parts of it have become monotonous and over redundant, as I’ve heard them used too many times (for instance, John 3:16…). In the last blog, I spoke about wanting to be inspired. That’s still true. I don’t feel inspired by the Word (Read the first chapter in Lamentations, and that’s kind of how I feel about where my faith is). But I want to be…I want to hear the voice of God speaking, like He should be. In conjunction with this, I really love the idea of getting together with someone and just taking turns to read the Word aloud. To bring voice and community back to the Scriptures.
I have just read Ezekiel 18. The chapter basically talks about personal responsibility, and how we will be judged for our sin and the next guy will be responsible for his sin. This connects with the above thought, in that if I want to be in that type of community action, then I must be pro-active about it. I can’t just wait for it to fall into my lap. Does anyone else like this idea? Even in the summer…we still have telephones….?
Also, this isn’t just about that idea, but about getting down to business in real life too. Here comes the confession part. One of my favorite words lately has been, “damn.” Swearing isn’t a sin to me (some is when used against others, I know). But I also know that it is not the most edifying use of my tongue. Another thing is that I tend to become a different Cassie around different people. And the people I have been around lately have been the ones that don’t make me want to be the most responsible, edifying person. I’m not a fan of my becoming that person. But my point is, that these symptoms are my personal responsibility, and it is time for me to get down to business to clean up the mess of my personality. Don’t pick apart my words to tell me that I shouldn’t rely on my own works to fix things…that’s not what I’m try to convey here. What I’m trying to say is, it’s time for me to focus back on who God wants me to be, and to do away with the rest.
Okay, so once again, its late and I need to rest my weary soul.
(wait…cool quote… You are a soul. You have a body.)
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Truth Be Told
Every time I try to start writing a blog entry, I just end up erasing it. I don't feel as though I explain myself well, I don't usually know what I even really do want to say, and I feel as though I end up getting churchy answers that don't really emote much inspiration. So, with that being said, I'm going to be my usual self and just go for the straight forward approach.
I want to be inspired. I want to be inspired by art, by music, by dancing, by the sky, by knowledge, by the city, but most of all, I want to be inspired by God. But, being in the place I am now, I don’t feel inspired in my faith at all. And that makes me frustrated and apathetic. Even so, as A.W. Tozer has brought back to my attention this summer, God is still here…still working, still speaking. [Read The Pursuit of God…great stuff]
Katie knows this best of all, but something you should all know is that I’m quite frightened by making commitments, especially regular time commitments that aren’t work or school. I’m trying to be better about this. Since realizing this, I have made a one year commitment to the Big Brother, Big Sister mentoring program. (Hey GUYS…they NEED men for the program, so you should check it out!) I’m excited, but still scared. Also, as you all know, I will be a MP this coming school year. This doesn’t have to be a huge time commitment if I don’t want it to be, but I do want it to be. I want to do a good job at ministering to the girls in my hall, to be available to them. Also, I want to still be able to be there for all the other people in my life (which, if you haven’t noticed, is a lot…but in a greatly fantastic way). With all this, I still need to make a big time commitment to working, so that I can pay all the bills that I need and want to pay (I would like to be able to pay for my housing this year without taking out a loan, which would mean I would have to work enough to pay it off). It all appears a bit daunting.
Next, there is a guy (as per usual with me…lol). I’m trying not to over-analyze the signs, or to think much of it. I enjoy the friendship, and for right now, that’s exactly what it needs to be. But truth be told, I wish that somebody would find me special enough to be something more. Furthermore, I’m just kind of sick of being the girl that’s buddy-buddy with all the guys, gets flirted with, gets some special attention, but never gets asked out (or gets asked out on casual dates). I know I’m the rule, but I’m ready to be somebody’s exception (Amy, you should know what I’m getting at ). If anything, none of this is really a problem, its more just an insecurity. And I’m thinking that’s its one of those stupid Satan lies.
There is so much more I could say/confess, but right now it's late and I would like to head to bed.
I want to be inspired. I want to be inspired by art, by music, by dancing, by the sky, by knowledge, by the city, but most of all, I want to be inspired by God. But, being in the place I am now, I don’t feel inspired in my faith at all. And that makes me frustrated and apathetic. Even so, as A.W. Tozer has brought back to my attention this summer, God is still here…still working, still speaking. [Read The Pursuit of God…great stuff]
Katie knows this best of all, but something you should all know is that I’m quite frightened by making commitments, especially regular time commitments that aren’t work or school. I’m trying to be better about this. Since realizing this, I have made a one year commitment to the Big Brother, Big Sister mentoring program. (Hey GUYS…they NEED men for the program, so you should check it out!) I’m excited, but still scared. Also, as you all know, I will be a MP this coming school year. This doesn’t have to be a huge time commitment if I don’t want it to be, but I do want it to be. I want to do a good job at ministering to the girls in my hall, to be available to them. Also, I want to still be able to be there for all the other people in my life (which, if you haven’t noticed, is a lot…but in a greatly fantastic way). With all this, I still need to make a big time commitment to working, so that I can pay all the bills that I need and want to pay (I would like to be able to pay for my housing this year without taking out a loan, which would mean I would have to work enough to pay it off). It all appears a bit daunting.
Next, there is a guy (as per usual with me…lol). I’m trying not to over-analyze the signs, or to think much of it. I enjoy the friendship, and for right now, that’s exactly what it needs to be. But truth be told, I wish that somebody would find me special enough to be something more. Furthermore, I’m just kind of sick of being the girl that’s buddy-buddy with all the guys, gets flirted with, gets some special attention, but never gets asked out (or gets asked out on casual dates). I know I’m the rule, but I’m ready to be somebody’s exception (Amy, you should know what I’m getting at ). If anything, none of this is really a problem, its more just an insecurity. And I’m thinking that’s its one of those stupid Satan lies.
There is so much more I could say/confess, but right now it's late and I would like to head to bed.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Obedience
During the first half of this semester, I was so excited to get into God's Word. I was just plain excited about what the Lord was doing...period. But as the semester has worn on, I have lost much of that excitement. I haven't been as diligent about getting into the Word, and when I do, nothing really speaks to me. But I think most of this is me and my attitude.
So, for the past couple of days I have been reading Romans 8. I read it all the way through one day and then put my Bible aside, not really comprehending it but feeling satisfied that I put in my "Bible" time. But the next time I opened my Bible, I read the chapter again. And the next time, and then the next time. I just reread it over and over this past week. I can't explain to you why, and I still haven't grasped it all yet.
Vs. 35, "Who shall seperate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?"
The past couple of days, and especially today, I have been praying and thinking that I want to be committed to the Lord, regardless of how I feel. I want to pursue His Word with energy, even when it's not exciting. So what then is making me feel cut off from God if none of things in verse 35 is the case? Me. I need to pursue God at all times, especially with the right attitude. And not because I need or want to either...but because He who has saved and called me is faithful and deserves it.
Vs. 37, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors THROUGH HIM who loved us (!)."
So, I pretty much already covered this point, but oh well. None of the things in verse 35 is sufficient to cut me off from God because through Christ, we are already more than conquerors over them (our sin nature). Christ is sufficient. He can bring me to the right spot before the Lord. If I am willing to go, that is.
Obedience. That's the word that sums this whole thought process up. Yep. Obedience.
So, for the past couple of days I have been reading Romans 8. I read it all the way through one day and then put my Bible aside, not really comprehending it but feeling satisfied that I put in my "Bible" time. But the next time I opened my Bible, I read the chapter again. And the next time, and then the next time. I just reread it over and over this past week. I can't explain to you why, and I still haven't grasped it all yet.
Vs. 35, "Who shall seperate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?"
The past couple of days, and especially today, I have been praying and thinking that I want to be committed to the Lord, regardless of how I feel. I want to pursue His Word with energy, even when it's not exciting. So what then is making me feel cut off from God if none of things in verse 35 is the case? Me. I need to pursue God at all times, especially with the right attitude. And not because I need or want to either...but because He who has saved and called me is faithful and deserves it.
Vs. 37, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors THROUGH HIM who loved us (!)."
So, I pretty much already covered this point, but oh well. None of the things in verse 35 is sufficient to cut me off from God because through Christ, we are already more than conquerors over them (our sin nature). Christ is sufficient. He can bring me to the right spot before the Lord. If I am willing to go, that is.
Obedience. That's the word that sums this whole thought process up. Yep. Obedience.
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